SATIRE

Your car has a better social life than you do

It goes out. It gets seen. It is photographed at events you were not invited to. Technically you were driving, but still.

The Flock Desk · 2026-07-22 · 3 min

Satire — this story is fiction and describes no real people, agencies or deployments.

SATIRE. This piece is a joke. No real people, agencies, or camera deployments are described below.

Consider the humble sedan. It leaves the house daily. It is photographed regularly. It has a documented presence in multiple municipalities. It is, by any reasonable modern definition, more socially active than its owner.

You, meanwhile, have not been photographed since a wedding in 2019, and you were blinking.

There is something genuinely funny about living in a world where the most complete diary of your week is maintained, without your involvement, by a pole. Not a person. A pole.

The joke stops being a joke roughly at the moment you ask a practical question — who can read the diary, and for how long — which is, unfortunately, the entire point of this website.

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