SATIREMigration Report

Migratory Flock Refuses to Migrate, Remains Bolted to Same Pole

Ornithologists blame the mounting bracket. The bracket has not responded to requests for comment.

Field Station 4 · 2026-08-07 · 2 min

Satire — this story is fiction and describes no real people, agencies or deployments.

SATIRE. Fiction. No real deployment, agency or location is described below.

Autumn arrived on schedule. The geese left. The swallows left. The specimen at an unnamed intersection did not so much as tilt.

Researchers have now observed the same individual through four consecutive migration windows. Its behavior is unchanged: face the road, watch the road, log the road. Population trend for the species remains, unfortunately, thriving.

'Technically we can no longer call it migratory,' a field biologist noted. 'But nobody wants to be the one to update the field guide.'

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